is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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