why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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