Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
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He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
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He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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