I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
