Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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