It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
