Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
so explain again why im purple
no
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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