I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
