Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.

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  (513): Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box. http://tfl.nu/uquv
  Replies (7) Good night (3373) Bad night (678)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.

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  (206): i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate. http://tfl.nu/mwsu
  Replies (53) Good night (6018) Bad night (898)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.

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  (443): I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network. http://tfl.nu/hbga
  Replies (27) Good night (4572) Bad night (2926)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks

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  (248): My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks http://tfl.nu/rdtc
  Replies (50) Good night (7199) Bad night (1219)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'

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  (507): i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor' http://tfl.nu/w930
  Replies (1) Good night (2477) Bad night (864)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.

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  (+44): Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off. http://tfl.nu/7fq9
  Replies (12) Good night (6057) Bad night (1009)
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  (510): View more from California

  I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear

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  (510): I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear http://tfl.nu/ry3a
  Replies (9) Good night (2265) Bad night (902)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?

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  (317): Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now? http://tfl.nu/j3p5
  Replies (9) Good night (2280) Bad night (665)
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  (646): View more from New York

  He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.

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  (646): He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that. http://tfl.nu/szno
  Replies (6) Good night (1331) Bad night (652)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?

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  (703): I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK? http://tfl.nu/mw9u
  Replies (16) Good night (554) Bad night (2143)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.

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  (770): Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week. http://tfl.nu/3id8
  Replies (1) Good night (875) Bad night (376)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.

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  (970): You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday. http://tfl.nu/28cn
  Replies (2) Good night (895) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.

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  (770): Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes. http://tfl.nu/ubpd
  Replies (1) Good night (436) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.

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  (604): We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life. http://tfl.nu/xwcn
  Replies (0) Good night (647) Bad night (207)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house

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  (617): I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house http://tfl.nu/9ik3
  Replies (0) Good night (185) Bad night (357)

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