Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control

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(314): View more from Missouri

Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"

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(740): View more from Ohio

Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(920): View more from Wisconsin

Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?

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(757): View more from Virginia

broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo

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(573): View more from Missouri

Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.

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(630): View more from Illinois

then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.

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(716): View more from New York

Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia

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