i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.