Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Yeah, i think she was German or something.

  (1-405): View more from Oklahoma

  No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): Yeah, i think she was German or something. (1-405): No dude, she's just got a speech impediment. http://tfl.nu/y6oj
  Replies (4) Good night (799) Bad night (1263)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus... http://tfl.nu/bdby
  Replies (8) Good night (1112) Bad night (1500)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Probably.

  (216): View more from Ohio

  I'm in.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word? (440): Probably. (216): I'm in. http://tfl.nu/bl31
  Replies (14) Good night (4273) Bad night (542)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween? http://tfl.nu/zwxr
  Replies (27) Good night (1190) Bad night (5138)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah. http://tfl.nu/uiae
  Replies (12) Good night (4507) Bad night (1403)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/x6ut
  Replies (26) Good night (1361) Bad night (4080)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone http://tfl.nu/cpqs
  Replies (5) Good night (1690) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life. http://tfl.nu/7e69
  Replies (7) Good night (739) Bad night (2197)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer. http://tfl.nu/w1nq
  Replies (8) Good night (774) Bad night (1456)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that. http://tfl.nu/hdvk
  Replies (14) Good night (2839) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins. http://tfl.nu/devk
  Replies (11) Good night (2239) Bad night (628)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup http://tfl.nu/az6p
  Replies (3) Good night (1565) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one http://tfl.nu/6mot
  Replies (7) Good night (369) Bad night (1112)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind http://tfl.nu/rbfo
  Replies (2) Good night (497) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!? http://tfl.nu/lygu
  Replies (0) Good night (577) Bad night (285)

Randomize