The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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