i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
