Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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