This is not my ceiling
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
