when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
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so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
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There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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