i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
