My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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