your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i barfeds in our rink
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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