he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
