I wish my penis had an off switch
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
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