lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
