Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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