Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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