I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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