whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
