Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
