You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
