You smell like stripper and shame
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
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I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
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I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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