I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It's not a walk of shame if you run
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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