Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
barbara walters just said penis...
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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