You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
