My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
