If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
