Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
