positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
