I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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