i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
