i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
