I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
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highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
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I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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