I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
