Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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