they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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