dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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