Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
