When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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