is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
