please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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