Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize