Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
