you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She even gives head with a lisp.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
