What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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