i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
