I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm like, not good at living.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
