garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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