:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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