Joe is yelling at the trees again.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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