I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
