Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
