Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
