Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
