What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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