Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
