idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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