one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
