I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
